the grandbaby cure has met its match

I have done a pretty shabby job of sharing this little dude with the blogosphere. It's not due to any lack of Mimi pride or delight in his dearness and cuteness.

I think I've been doing a pretty shabby job on several fronts, actually. I could list them all for you, but that would only serve as a reminder to myself. And to be honest, I am not needing any further reasons to be bummed.

I don't know about the rest of you, but when I'm in the dumps, I don't like being around myself. And I feel even less like inflicting my gloom on everyone else.

Doesn't it seem like life goes through phases? I've been here before. I recognize the scenery. I pretty much hate it.

And I also know that in viewing life from the dumps, once I've got these gloom-tinted glasses firmly in place, it's darned near impossible to see anything as being "...noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy." (Phil 4:8) Each setback, each area of failure on my part, each disappointment, is magnified and in turn justifies the depression I feel. I sink a little lower into the mire, and it's a little harder to get out.

I wish I could find some glowing spiritual application to make....some pointed discourse on how my hope is planted firmly on the Solid Rock. I know these things intellectually, but my heart is not there right now. And I'm disappointed in myself about that, too. bluhhh...

So whatever landscape imagery works for you -- desert, valley, pit -- that's where I am right now. Not asking for sympathy or solutions -- just not sure how bloggy I'll be. It's hard to write about struggles, and not much fun to read about them, either.

Really, consider it a favor.

good grief

We went to the visitation this evening for Joey. I felt an undeniable pull to be there, to share grief and memories with people who are precious to me. In a way that only God could design, it felt good to hug tight and sob together. It felt good to cry because it was a reminder of how much we loved each other. I haven't seen these people for several years, but that didn't diminish the heart connection.

And it convinced me that we must never let this much time go by again.

Please read Corie's excellent post, and thank you for your prayers.

my heart hurts

I'm reeling tonight from the news that a young man we know just passed away from bacterial meningitis. He was 19. His mom had been my good best friend. She fought a brave battle with lymphoma and passed away 10 years ago. She was pregnant with him when I was pregnant with Dan. We had lost contact with the family because they moved away, and I hadn't seen him in a long time. I can't even imagine how hard this is for his dad and siblings.

It seems so trite to say please pray for Joey's family, but I know there's nothing else, and nothing better, that I can do.