oh my goodness oh my dear sassafras and ginger beer

You know how sometimes even though you realize something is going to happen, it still catches you off guard when it happens?

We have known that my mom's condition was eventually going to require having her move in with us for some time now. At Christmas we met with my brother and sister and discussed that it was probably going to be sooner than later. Then we met with a builder and he drew up some plans for an addition on our house to accommodate an extra room for her. And apparently he went ahead with getting the plans approved by the township and got the building permit and all that.

I can't imagine why, then, it still seemed like a distant, remote, future ,theoretical possibility in my head.

Until this morning.

When the backhoe arrived.


And all of a sudden it was like HOLY COW! THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE DIGGING UP MY YARD! WHAT THE HECK!
Just this morning I enjoyed watching five deer outside my kitchen window as they stood at the edge of the woods. Now this is what I see out my kitchen window -- a backhoe, a dude with a big stick, and a can of fluorescent paint:



I think somehow all this time I was going ahead and giving assent to this project with the understanding that I would be assuming the eventual role of full-time caretaker for my mom. And surely somewhere in the recesses of my consciousness must have been the glimmer of an idea that some disruption may occur. But I never really fully embraced the reality of it until this morning.

And now I'm terrified. Because now there's no denying that ohmygoodnessthisreallyishappening.

Of course she has no idea. And we're just hoping that by the time she does in fact need to move in, the addition will be ready for her. At the rate that things seem to be progressing this morning, that shouldn't be a problem.

Back when my kids were little --back when I had only three kids -- and my parents were still married and living in Indiana together, we used to do this thing called "kid days." My kids would go stay with my mom and dad for a week and the kids ruled. Whatever they wanted to eat, she'd get for them. Whatever they wanted to do, she'd do with them. It was glorious for them, and glorious for me, because once it coincided with Jim being away on reserve duty and I got a week to MY OWN HEAVENLY SELF. Oh sweet merciful wonderfulness! I started the week off by cleaning the house from top to bottom, and then IT STAYED THAT WAY. I drove around with no car seat in my car and I pretended that I was completely footloose. ~~sigh~~ the memories...

This week my mom is in Nashville with my sister and I keep getting the same sensation. I keep thinking I should call her, stop in to check up on her, make sure she's eating, offer to take her to the grocery store... but then I remember (!!) and it feels strange.

Isn't it funny how life goes in circles? The emotions are the same --but the characters change.