a different kind of pioneer woman

I've had childbirth on my mind lately. OK, I have childbirth on my mind a lot. But especially recently, because of our newest grandbaby's upcoming arrival, and because of Corie's talk of considering pursuing becoming (how many -ing words can I string together?) a childbirth instructor. I've had birth on the brain.

When I was expecting Corie (27 years ago, almost - yikes) we were living in Germany, obviously far from my mom and home. I wrote her a letter full of my concerns and questions about giving birth.

Growing up, I had only ever heard my mom say positive things about her birth experiences. I was 10 when my brother was born (my first sibling), and then 12 with my sister (I was 43 when my youngest sister was born, but that's a whole different story for another time). So I remember well the calmness and joy my mom expressed when she talked about labor and delivery. She had always been very open and honest with me. I knew I could ask her anything. That in itself, I realized later, was a gift not every young girl is given.

I saved the letter my mom wrote in response, and just got it out of Corie's baby book the other day. Re-reading it now, I am amazed that she demonstrated such a radical belief that birth was a natural, un-fearful event. She wrote of how important it was to relax, and trust that your body was working the way God designed it to work. She wrote of how difficult it was for her, when I was born especially (in 1958), to find a doctor who didn't pooh-pooh her desire to give birth without drugs. She talked about wanting the baby to have a peaceful entry into the world, and how she wanted to be awake and participating. She wrote that the hard contractions didn't bother her because she knew the worst was nearly over. "...It really is enjoyable and exciting because each contraction means the baby is nearer to being born."

She never took a childbirth class. She'd never even heard of Dr. Bradley. Lamaze wasn't an option. But she said that HER mom had given birth (at home) naturally, and that it never crossed her mind that she wouldn't be able to. She just had the courage to pursue what she believed in her heart was right.

Then she wrote this about the way she felt after each birth:

"...Like THIS was what life is all about. I wept with happiness as each of you were born and laid on my tummy...such an outpouring of a feeling of mother love and utmost contentment and happiness! As you each curled your little hand around my finger the first time, the whole effort was worth it. I wanted nothing else at that moment but to look and look and touch and love you until you grew up. It never leaves -- that feeling of mother love. It lasts forever -- through all the spats and hard times and misunderstandings and changes and distances -- it's always there. ..... I would go through MUCH MORE pain than I had, just to experience it again."

I realized how blessed I am. When I had my babies I didn't have to overcome fear and negative perceptions of the horror of birth. When I was teaching childbirth classes, I wasn't just teaching "The Bradley Method," I was passing on my mom's confidence and faith in the process.

My mom has been a role model to me in so many ways. Her love of reading, her joy in her children, her selfless giving to her family. I'm grateful that she blazed the trail that I've been allowed to follow.

I love you, Mommy.