size matters

Dear Tide,

I have been a faithful devotee for the last 30 years. You have seen me through all the laundry that a family of seven has generated. I have been fiercely loyal, never wavering in my commitment, even when Dynamo is buy one, get 2 free. Why are you messing with me now, at a time in my life when I am so reluctant to embrace change? When I need to know I can feel secure with the status quo in my laundry room, at least. When my feeble, wrinkled hands need to reach for that familiar blue cap and fill it right up.


What is this "2X ultra" stuff? I don't trust it. I want my big bottle. I am skeptical and unhappy to have to pay the same amount for a bottle half as big. Who can believe that half as much detergent is going to be as fully effective?

There are some things in their original form that are just right. They don't need to be improved. Lays potato chips, for one. Coke, for another. Were you snoozing during the whole "New Coke" fiasco? You should have been concentrating.....wait, never mind that. You should have been paying attention. No one asked me if I wanted a new formula.

Can you imagine trying to foist this line of marketing on the milk drinkers in my house? Here -- have HALF a glass of new 2X ultra milk. It's all the nutrition and every bit as satisfying. You're hungry for a steak? Try our new concentrated 2X ultra steak product. It's half the size, with all the flavor. Yum.

I'm imagining where this trend might lead.... Thirty years from now we'll be buying Tide in bottles the side of Visine. One drop gets your whole load dazzlingly clean!

Of course by then I'll probably be washing my clothes in Downy, so it won't matter.